Cultivating Happier Romantic Relationships

ENG 101

Professor: McCormick

Jose F. Torres

 Cultivating Happier Romantic Relationships

Human beings are always in search of the perfect partner, the person that will complete us and understand us.  In my opinion, it is more important to cultivate a relationship instead of finding the perfect mate; someone that shares the same activities as I do.  Every person is different the trick is to find the one person that will click with my personality.  However, it is difficult and it takes hard work to cultivate a relationship and build intimacy.  To shape a relationship to the point where both partners are happy with each other, takes years and lots of different opinions about different matters.

Everyone is in the search of the perfect partner, the person that will make us happy forever.  I think is overrated and downright unrealistic. It is more important to cultivate a relationship than just have one.  It is a fact that nobody is perfect.  I think our society has ingrained us with the thought that such idea exists, if that idea is correct there would not be many divorce cases in our society.  It is a fact that fifty percent of marriages end in divorce, I think people that are going through that went into the marriage thinking that they “found” the perfect mate; but reality sets in; finding a person that feels attracting towards another person is not difficult, I think the whole problem lies on the fact that looks are really not everything; that is a phrase that our parents always tells us in fact is true.  Intimacy is not always linked to sex, the other kind of intimacy; the one that getting to know someone in an intimacy level is beautiful, knowing that person’s attitude towards life, morals, religion, politics, etc.  I think now is easier just to give up, technology has made it easier. We can talk to new people every day in many different ways; there are social networks, video chats, and the internet.  We are constantly bombarded with the different options that we might tend to forget what we have at home.  Since we have other options, the minute that we see trouble or sense danger; some people just cop out and do not give the relationship the time that it needs to develop.  My grandparents remained marry until the day that one of them died.  Nowadays, we act surprise when a couple is together seven years; and sometimes people ask what the secret is.  I think we owe it to ourselves to give a chance to real love and let it develop to what it might surprise and be the perfect relationship.

The moment that we have established a relationship with another person, the key to cultivate a happier romantic relationship is to shape it to a degree that both people would comfort in each other.  I have been married for almost ten years, and I must say that my wife and I are complete opposites; we had had our struggles during this time.  She is very free-spirited and I am stricter and follow rules, she looks at life as an easy road, no problems, no stress; she really does not get anything to her.  However, I look at life as a very hard road to walk on, my stress levels are high, and I am always thinking about our bills, our mortgage, what our daughter is going to be when she grows up.  Those are the things that stress me, but she does not let those things bother her.  In the beginning I found that kind of attitude insufferable and I thought she was crazy, I have never met anybody like that; that our opposite ways of handling problems cause us problem for ourselves.  It really took a while until we have figured out, we complement each other with our different looks on life; I am trying to be more spontaneous and lead a less hectic life, whereas she tries to lead a more discipline life, of course sometimes our old habits are difficult to brake and trouble arises; but she and I know that we have to make it work for our daughter and she deserves a happy set of parents and a healthy environment.

Another way to cultivate a happier romantic relationship is to share activities together, if a couple wants to be together they have to do things that each person will enjoy.  Even though sometimes my hobbies are not the same as my wife’s, but we have found our “thing” to do together we go almost every Sunday to do cross-training.  I love to run; my wife hates it with a passion.  I love to exercise and I do it every day, she might do it just to please me and I know she hates it; but we have found a common ground where we enjoy our favorite activities and do them while we are together.  She likes to walk in the park, I enjoy a good hiking.  And there are many more things that we share, but the point is that we make an effort to share our likes with each other.

In conclusion, I think romantic relationships are easy to find the real task is to learn how to be happy in one.  Cultivating a healthy and happier romantic relationship takes a lot of patience and learning what the other person thinks and feels towards life.  We have to find someone that shares our likes and dislikes, but before we enter any relationship we have to know that the ideal or “perfect” person does not really exist; nobody is perfect and everyone has flaws.  The trick is to mold each other until we find and have a healthier romantic relationship